I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
