the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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