guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
