do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
