I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
