There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
