And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
