Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
