I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
