He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
