it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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