: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
