There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
