So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
