Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am naked and annoyed.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
