What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
