I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
