You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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