ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
People with herpes should wear stickers.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
