Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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