:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
