I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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