My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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