U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
