hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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