My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize