There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
