every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize