We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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