It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
