I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
