i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
