The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
