i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
