Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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