420 ftw
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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