We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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