His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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