I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
