He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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