idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize