I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
