Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
