Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
