She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
