Don't make out with my wife yet
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
His nipple licking is glorious
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