He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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