so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
