how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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