i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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