Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize