also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
