You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
