He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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