your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
