"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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