And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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