try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
