Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
