I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
