Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's never too late to be topless.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
