One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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