you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
