Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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