yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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